end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm at about main and main street
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
