You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
