Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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