I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
