i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
