cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize