pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
