We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
