At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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