I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
