my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
