Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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