Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize