I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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