yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
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