I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
