I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
