she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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