he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
