I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
