i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
