you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
