Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She swung at the pinata with crutches
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
