at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
