worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
