I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
