This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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