4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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