I love black thongs
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i think im in europe. pls send help
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
