Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
