Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
