I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
