I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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