I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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