Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
