Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
