Non-Jews are for practice
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
