If i come over, it means nothing
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
