shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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