I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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