I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
