Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
