he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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