I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
