ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
