I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
