GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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