im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
