we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
