You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
