I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
