Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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