I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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