You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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