then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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