just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
