Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
