I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
