If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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