I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize