lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
