I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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