: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize