my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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