I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
