You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
