piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
