WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
the day after is always just damage control
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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