I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
