The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize
