Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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