this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
